This guide, based on first-hand, day-by-day survival of over three decades in Israel, will help you to first understand, then gradually accept, and eventually almost conform to the Israeli mentality, which in turn will enable you to first look like, then gradually behave like, and eventually almost become a real Israeli. With tongue firmly in cheek, the author takes some affectionate, punning jabs at his adoptive homeland's language, people, lifestyle, and land.