<b>TUNE IN. TURN ON. GEEK OUT.<br></b>Sorry, beautiful people. These days, from government to business to technology to Hollywood, <i>geeks</i> rule <br>the world. <br><br>Finally, here&#8217;s the book no self-respecting geek can live without&#8211;a guide jam-packed with 314.1516 short entries both useful and fun. Science, pop-culture trivia, paper airplanes, and pure geekish nostalgia coexist as happily in these pages as they do in their natural habitat of the geek brain.<br><br>In short, dear geek, here you&#8217;ll find everything you need to achieve nirvana. And here, for you pathetic nongeeks, is the last chance to save yourselves: Love this book, live this book, and you too can join us in the experience of <i>total world domination. <br><br></i>&#8226; <b>become</b> a sudoku god<br>&#8226; <b>brew</b> your own beer<br><b>&#8226; build</b> a laser beam<br>&#8226; <b>classify</b> all living things<br>&#8226; <b>clone</b> your pet<br>&#8226; <b>exorcise</b> demons<br>&#8226;<b> find</b> the world&#8217;s best corn mazes<br>&#8226; <b>grasp</b> the theory of relativity<br>&#8226; <b>have sex</b> on Second Life<br>&#8226; <b>injure</b> a fish<br>&#8226; <b>join</b> the Knights Templar<br>&#8226; <b>kick ass</b> with sweet martial-arts moves<br>&#8226; <b>learn</b> ludicrous emoticons<br>&#8226; <b>master</b> the Ocarina of Time<br>&#8226; <b>pimp</b> your cubicle<br>&#8226; <b>program</b> a remote control<br>&#8226; <b>quote</b> He-Man and Che Guevara<br>&#8226; <b>solve</b> fiendish logic puzzles<br>&#8226; <b>touch</b> Carl Sagan <br>&#8226; <b>unmask</b> Linus Torvalds<br>&#8226; <b>visit</b> Beaver Lick, Kentucky<br>&#8226; <b>win</b> bar bets<br>&#8226; <b>write</b> your name in Elvish<br><br><b>Join us or die, you will.<br>Begun, the Geek Wars have<br></b>