<b><big>DEAR MEXICAN:</big></b> <P> <b>WHAT IS <I>¡ASK A MEXICAN!</i> ?</b> <P> Questions and answers about our spiciest Americans. I explore the clichés of lowriders, busboys, and housekeepers; drunks and scoundrels; heroes and celebrities; and most important, millions upon millions of law-abiding, patriotic American citizens and their illegal-immigrant cousins who represent some $600 billion in economic power. <P> <b>WHY SHOULD I READ <I>¡ASK A MEXICAN!</i> ?</b> <P> At 37 million strong (or 13 percent of the U.S. population), Latinos have become America's largest minority -- and beaners make up some two-thirds of that number. I confront the bogeymen of racism, xenophobia, and ignorance prompted by such demographic changes through answering questions put to me by readers of my <I>¡Ask a Mexican!</i> column in California's <I>OC Weekly</i>. I challenge you to find a more entertaining way to immerse yourself in Mexican culture that doesn't involve a taco-and-enchilada combo. <P> <b>OKAY, WHY DO MEXICANS PARK THEIR CARS ON THE FRONT LAWN?</b> <P> Where do you want us to park them? The garage we rent out to a family of five? The backyard where we put up our recently immigrated cousins in tool-shack-cum-homes? The street with the red curbs recently approved by city planners? The driveway covered with construction materials for the latest expansion of <I>la casa</i>? The nearby school parking lot frequented by cholos on the prowl for a new radio? The lawn is the only spot Mexicans can park their cars without fear of break-ins, drunken crashes, or an unfortunate keying. Besides, what do you think protects us from drive-bys? The cops?