<p>Rick Dockery was the third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. In the AFC Championship game against Denver, to the surprise and dismay of virtually everyone, Rick actually got into the game. With a 17-point lead and just minutes to go, Rick provided what was arguably the worst single performance in the history of the NFL. Overnight, he became a national laughingstock and, of course, was immediately cut by the Browns and shunned by all other teams.<br><br> But all Rick knows is football, and he insists that his agent, Arnie, find a team that needs him. Against enormous odds Arnie finally locates just such a team and informs Rick that, miraculously, he can in fact now be a <i>starting </i>quarterback. Great, says Rick&#8212;for which team?<br><br>The mighty Panthers of Parma, Italy.<br><br>Yes, Italians do play American football, to one degree or another, and the Parma Panthers desperately want a former NFL player&#8212;any former NFL player&#8212;at their helm. So Rick reluctantly agrees to play for the Panthers&#8212;at least until a better offer comes along&#8212;and heads off to Italy. He knows nothing about Parma&#8212;not even where it is&#8212;has never been to Europe, and doesn&#8217;t speak or understand a word of Italian. <br><br>To say that Italy&#8212;the land of opera, fine wines, extremely small cars, romance, and <i>Football Americano</i>&#8212; holds a few surprises for Rick Dockery would be something of an understatement.</p>