<p>Stephanie Lowe decides Maine schooner captain and pirate descendent Ivan Rasmussen deserves to be called Ivan the Terrible. The house she just bought from him is falling apart and possibly haunted. He complains about her fish-eye stew and burnt chocolate chip cookies. He makes fun of her hair after she's had to comb it while using a toaster as a mirror. And on top of all that, he has the nerve to be charming, handsome and overboard in love with her. This is one pirate captain who is determined to acquire the treasure of a lifetime.</p> <p>Performed by C.J. Critt</p>