Most colleges provide a pile of orientation materials, but they're basically useless. Feel free to throw all that away. This guide from the writers and editors of <i>The Stranger</i> has the information you will actually need that no one else will tell you--for college and for the rest of your existence--including: which majors to avoid, how to not get a STD, everything there is to know about philosophy (in a single paragraph!), what the music you like says about you, how to turn a crush into something more, how to come out (should you happen to be gay), how to binge drink and not die, how do laundry, how to do drugs (and which ones you should never do), good manners, tips on flirting with film nerds, how to write a great sentence, and a state-by-state guide to the U.S. of A. It's all here, along with Dan Savage's very best advice about sex and love. Hi!