<P>Okay, granted, an albino alligator on the loose in San Francisco is pretty darn exciting. But my two cats, Rupert and Isabella, and I have better things to do than tail a reptile from Nob Hill to Fisherman's Wharf. We're investigating the mysterious Steinhart brothers -- the 1900s-era benefactors who provided the original funding for Clive the alligator's aquarium. Follow the money, as my uncle Oscar used to say.</P><P></P><P>In the media circus surrounding Clive, one clown gets a little too close to the renegade gator -- our very own aspiring mayor, Montgomery Carmichael. We'd hate to see Monty meet an undignified end, but we're on a hunt of our own -- for Uncle Oscar's latest treasure. Of course, that's assuming the whole thing isn't a crock.</P>