<p>Welcome to Lumpkin Home College! Why Lumpkin, you ask? Because, Bradley H. Lumpkin, you took Ceramics instead of Physics. Because "Pot Is My Passion" wasn't a smart topic for your college application essay. Because of that thing with the police. Because, honey, you have no choice.<br /><br /> <em>Home Colleging</em> is the perfect book for any parent who has ever completed the grueling marathon of getting a child into college—and for every kid who survived the process. Written by two <em>Harvard Lampoon</em> alumnae and coauthors of <em>How to Regain Your Virginity</em>, and illustrated throughout, this hilarious spoof revolves around Mrs. Lumpkin's plan to home-college her loser son, Bradley. The satire is spot-on: There’s the Campus: <em>Situated on a sweeping quarter acre in a center-hall Colonial that could use some paint</em> . . . The Mission Statement: <em>We’re just trying to make the best of a bad situation.</em> The Course Catalog: <em>Archaeology 206: Includes a field trip to Bradley H. Lumpkin’s bed, where we will excavate for pizza crusts and coinage, as well as cell phones dating back to the early paleo-iPhone era.</em><br /><br /> Plus Student Clubs (A Cappella in the Shower), Greek Life (Feta Cheese Thursdays), Athletics—the court-ordered weekly trip to pick up litter along exits 37 to 39. But do take note: Lumpkin does not have a liquor license.</p>