Are men really scared of independent women? Should I loan my friend money? Why bother stopping at lemonade stands? Veteran radio personality Dave Ryan is here to tackle these burning questions and more. Armed with his signature self-deprecating wit and real talk, he's here to help you maneuver the world's attempts to throw you off your game. Take a Shower, Show Up On Time, and Don't Steal Anything is the perfect manual on how to be an adult. Filled with pearls of wisdom that will save you from catching a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease, this is a book that every twenty-something should swear by, and every fifty-something should keep close.From terrible jobs, to being bad in bed, to the courtesy flush, these are lessons Dave learned the hard way—so you don't have to.